A little heartbreak today...

I got a little taste of what so many Mama's that have gone before me went through. Today at our visit the orphanage was a buzz with people! There were several local families visiting their "perfect" soon to be adopted children. There were also many children with their nannies out playing in their groupa. It was a beautiful day and for the first hour of the visit, life in our tiny world with our amazing little princess was absolutely dreamy. My happy bubble was quickly popped when this precious baby boy in nothing more than his underwear came over to us. He was COVERED in bug bites and scratches all over his poor little body. What came next will truly haunt me forever. He put his tiny hand gently on my knee, looked into my eyes and asked, "Mama?" I've escaped this heartache for three weeks and I so wish (selfishly) that I escaped it forever:( Lee actually caught the exact moment on camera and it's a good thing that my face wasn't in the picture because I was sobbing...


I don't know his name or even why he's been left alone in this cruel world but his beautiful face and his angelic voice is forever embedded in my soul... He knew why we were there. He may be only 3 years old but he knew that we were there to be Olya's Mama and Papa and not his. Look at the complete sadness in his face!!I am having such difficulty processing all this grief, imagine what this sweet boy goes through every day that goes by and no one comes to visit him, to hold him, to love him... I'm devastated tonight.

Don't get me wrong this orphanage is a beautiful place filled with amazing people that love these children, but they can only give so much. I know that They feel the inadequacy of this place and I admire their strength. It must take a whole lot of faith to be able to walk out of there every night and forget.




Let's hope they don't forget.....

A few more shots of some of the other children we encountered today:


We came across this baby on our walk today. Although he's not a baby.... He's probably 2 or 3. Hard to tell, but as we walked by his eyes followed us. He couldn't move his head... I have a closer picture but I can't bring myself to post it.








In a window looking out:(


Okay now for a few pictures from our happier times today! Olya was a different baby today. Happy, chatty girl!!!














Pinching Daddy!


She's grown just since we've been visiting her. Incredible what love can do!


Sweet baby girl!!!


Goodnight!
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